How To Be A Grown Up

Hello again, 

The title of this post is obviously a complete and utter con because I quite honestly have no idea how to do all this grown up stuff, but a lot of major things have happened for me over the last 12 months and I hope that I've learnt at least something from it. Maybe through; engagement, graduation, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood and house buying, I might not have learnt how to be a grown up, but I may have learnt from some mistakes of 'what not to do'. Here are my top 10 tips on how to make it in this big old grown up world.

BE GRATEFUL

Sounds obvious but life really is about gratuity. Things happen every day and if you are not there to catch them, they pass by in a flurry. It's hard to remember to be grateful for the little things all the time but if you take some time to stop and think a little throughout the day (or week) you might be a little bit amazed by what's just right in front of you.

BE PROUD

I think we have come to live in a society where we are always saying 'oh I'm sorry' if you accidentally brush past someone or don't hold a door open for them. Most of all though we seem to be sorry for our achievements. I was always taught not to brag about things I had done or places I had been in case it made others feel uncomfortable. And I think, personally, this is quite a good trait to have. But sometimes, even if it's just to yourself, it's good to say "hey, that thing I did, it was pretty great". Even if that is as little as making someone smile or as big as having a baby. It's all good and something you should be proud of.

BE KIND

I suppose this should really be number one in the list. Two of my favourite quotes are 'Kill them with kindness' and 'Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind.' Kindness is so simple in reality. It really doesn't take too much effort and often the reward is so great. Sometimes people are bitchy and that is basically the top and bottom of it but others there is something else happening behind their closed doors and a little bit of kindness might just give them a helping hand.

NO HATE

Hate actually takes a lot of effort. To hate someone is a lot more exhausting than not doing. To be fair, hate is a word that shouldn't be banded around because it has such strong connotations. But one of the major things I've learnt recently is just to let go, give forgiveness and just learn to rub along with those beside us in the best manner we possibly can.

BE LESS SELFISH

I think it is fair to say that we are all self centred. I mean if you think about it, we are all at the centre of our own worlds so we are bound to think of ourselves often. But trying to take the time to ask how others are or actually listening to what they have to say is a valuable credit to have. It's ok to sometimes say 'no, I'm going to do this for me and me alone' but other times it's great to compromise to benefit someone else. Encouraging someone or being a shoulder to cry on can be life changing (not just for you).

TAKE THE TIME TO REFLECT

Taking a little time to reflect on anything that has happened is a valuable lesson. It doesn't have to be as formal as the below, but learning from experiences is sometimes just as important as the experience itself. Nothing is a waste. Everything can be learnt from.

WORK HARD

As the old saying goes, 'work hard, play hard'. But the bit you have to do first is work. It makes to play part so much more enjoyable. No one is going to knock on your door and say 'here you go, here is everything you have ever wanted'. So go out. Learn something. Work for your dreams. You'll appreciate it so much more.

MAKE GOALS

I didn't realise till recently the sheer importance of goals. Not just in the long term, but goals for the day, week, month and year. Having big, long term goals is fantastic, but being able to break them down into daily, weekly and monthly bite size chunks is key. 

SEIZE THE MOMENT

I think this is the hardest of the 10 to achieve. It's SO easy to get stuck in the daily grind of life and to always keep plodding on day to day. But I suppose any free time you have, try and do something great. Life really is short and time is precious. The quote below shows just how important it is.

DO THE BEST YOU CAN

I suppose at the end of the day, all we can ever do is try our best. Before exams my Mum always used to say "Just try your best, that's all you can do. If you try your best, there's no more you can do". Sometimes in life we don't do so great and things aren't as we expect but if we've tried our best, we couldn't have done anything more. Failings and errors are ok if we tried to do the very best we could. So to be the very best; friend, child, spouse, employee, parent and person, we are possible of is the most we can ask.

Speak soon, 

L xx